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Showing posts from February, 2016

How do you know?

Inevitably when you are a talker and open like I am, people will ask you questions. When I am pregnant, the questions often center there.

The other night, while out with several friends, I was asked the same question over and over. How did you know you wanted another baby or how do you know when you are done having babies?

Obviously I cannot answer for everyone, but I can tell you what my experience has been.

With each of our pregnancies, I would wonder, "Is this my last pregnancy?" Then I would be cuddling those sweet little newborns, with their soft skin and fresh smell and I would wonder "Is this the last time I will have a newborn of my own?"

People had told me over the years, "Trust me you will know when you are done having babies." But it was such vague answer, it was something they couldn't describe, just a knowing sense.

That was frustrating.

This is my fourth pregnancy, we have three wonderful little girls. In discussing whether or not to try…

A Little Encouragement

This pregnancy has been hard. I do not want sympathy, I am not asking for pity. I put myself in this position literally and figuratively. I am owning that. I am simply saying to all the mothers out there, whether you have one or ten, having kids is hard.

I have reached my limit where we are in survival mode. With my other pregnancies, I could still pull myself together the majority of the time. Now just putting on pants is hard. The whole process of having to find a clean pair, and take off my pajamas, and actually put one leg at a time into them is hard.

The baby ate dried flies off the windowsill the other day. The four year old got stitches. The kindergartener had to bring me crackers because I was too sick to get up. My mom and sister folded my laundry while visiting. My bedroom looks like my closet threw up.

A wonderful person complimented me the other day on how well I handle motherhood, and I nearly burst into tears. Because it is so hard.

Don't listen to that little voice …