Earlier this year I spoke at a conference. I talked about gratitude, grace and joy. I was fully immersed in it and felt it down to my toes. Then life got turned upside down and busy and somehow I forgot everything. The last month or so has been a mess. I hate the rush of summer and the vortex that results and sucks up every minute and shreds my plans. I have let it consume me. I have been wallowing in self pity. It all bubbled up and exploded last week when I threw a tantrum and in an attempt to keep from yelling I kicked the wall. My house that I love, that I built with my hands, that I poured myself into; I kicked it and put a hole in the wall and injured my foot. It was stupid. The tantrum was stupid. I feel stupid. But even more than that, I am angry at myself. I am angry that I allowed myself to get to the point that I would act that way. I wasn't being grateful, I wasn't practicing grace and I certainly was no where near feeling joy. I wanted my children and