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Showing posts from March, 2018

Why The Cross?

If Easter has never made sense to you, if you have ever wondered why a God of love, is celebrated by a brutal death, if you have wondered why Jesus had to die and why God couldn't just shake the sky and shout out with thunder and angels and save us all, then you are not alone. 
I have asked the same questions a thousand times. I have sat through sermons on it and listened to it discussed in depth at bible studies. I have read books upon books trying to understand why Jesus had to die and why God couldn't have just told us how much he loved us and told us we are saved. 
If He is a God of mercy, God of love, God of power, then why did it have to be Jesus' death on the cross? It never made any sense. 
Why did Jesus have to die? Why couldn't God just shake the sky and shout out his love. Why couldn't it be fireworks and thunder and mind blowing shows of power and might?
It all comes down to love.
Understanding Gods love has helped me to comprehend why it had to be Jes…

Small Victories

My baby boy turns two in July.

He is my last baby.

I am tasting freedom, the likes of which I haven't had in years!

I am savoring all the lasts and acknowledging milestones for what they are… but lets be honest, most days I am fist pumping, high kicking and dancing in celebration.

This is not a blog post about how sweet these days are or how I need to appreciate it while they are little. That is important, but that is for another day.

Today I am celebrating how much I can get done in a day now that my baby can feed himself and go out with his Daddy to do chores.

We are in the process of finishing out our basement and creating a family room. The kids are spending a lot more time down there, so we no longer have the need for a large toy room.

On the flip side, I am spending more time writing and keeping up with our ever growing farm paper work and I need a space that I can spread out in and keep kids out of.

Yesterday I swapped my large toy room and my small office room.

It has been…

Fear of Failure

I have always been the kind of woman who whispers dreams, but never one to name them and chase them down. 
In high school I wanted to be an actress. In college I wanted to write an epic novel. I never pursued either of those things because I thought they were too impractical, too artistic, for someone like me. 
The thing about dreams is they rarely go away completely. 
I still want to write a book.

I still love being on a stage.

My dreams don't look the same as they did back then, but traces of them are woven into my life. I have been paid to write and I have been paid to speak my words, and yet still I hesitate to call myself a writer or a speaker. 
I live with the fear of failure.

Not just a little fear, but rather a huge, crippling fear of failing. 
If I have not laid out a plan A and B and C and two more contingency plans that have backup plans with a safety net, then it is a solid bet, I will not try something new. 
Truthfully, it is not the failure I am afraid of… I am afra…