Fear of Failure

I have always been the kind of woman who whispers dreams, but never one to name them and chase them down.

In high school I wanted to be an actress. In college I wanted to write an epic novel. I never pursued either of those things because I thought they were too impractical, too artistic, for someone like me.

The thing about dreams is they rarely go away completely.

I still want to write a book.

I still love being on a stage.

My dreams don't look the same as they did back then, but traces of them are woven into my life. I have been paid to write and I have been paid to speak my words, and yet still I hesitate to call myself a writer or a speaker.

I live with the fear of failure.

Not just a little fear, but rather a huge, crippling fear of failing.

If I have not laid out a plan A and B and C and two more contingency plans that have backup plans with a safety net, then it is a solid bet, I will not try something new.

Truthfully, it is not the failure I am afraid of… I am afraid of what people will think of me if I fail. I don't want to put myself out there, state my cause, name my goals, chase my dreams because I don't want to be that person who doesn't succeed.

If you told me that, I would tell you to quit being ridiculous. I would look you in the eye and tell you that you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. I would tell you to quit caring about what other people think, that your dreams matter so much more than their opinions. I would tell you to hold your head up high and try, because if you don't risk failure, you don't risk succeeding.

It's so much easier for me, when I am on the other side of things; when it's not my reputation, not my idea, when its not my dream. It is easy for me to tell you to get going, conquer your fears, knock down walls, stand up for yourself. More often than not though, the things I want to tell you, are the things I need to remind myself.

So tonight I will name my dream.

I dream of being one voice that causes a ripple in the vast ocean of voices speaking truth and life and love into the world.

I dream of encouraging women to be better. To quit comparing, to speak life to each other, to hold each other up instead of tearing each other down. I want to champion you to be the person that others can trust with their vulnerabilities.

We each have different strengths, desires, and natural abilities. If we each tap into those and immerse ourselves in growing our natural talents, just imagine how much happier and better the world would be.

I have the gift of communication. I will write my words, I will tell my story, I will share my dreams, in hopes that it encourages you to do the same.

Whatever your dream is, name it, chase it down and choose to give it your all.