I am still here. Despite all the challenges of the past year, you are reading this and I am writing it, so we we made it. I won't even try to wrap up what we have all been through, I am just going to acknowledge we all lived and processed through the past year by whatever means necessary.
As I look back on it, it's crazy to think how much fear and heartache the last year held but also how much joy and ordinary life as well.
It's been quiet here on the blog as some of you have noticed and checked in on me. The quiet gave way to the most exciting thing though, I am now a published author, along with some incredible friends! The devotional, Lighthouse Collections— Beacons of Light in Life's Storms, is a work of passion and prayers. My dear friend Megan Miller contacted me last year about contributing to a devotional and I was thrilled to be included. Between going back to school for my Masters degree and writing for the devotional, I had not found the time or the words to write here.
I wrote this blog post a long time ago stating my dreams and I wrote about my dream to write a book. Being a part of this devotional is a dream come true. So it feels only right to come here and share it with all of you. My friends and family that have followed me here, on the blog, have always supported my writing and cheered me on. I owe you all a big, heartfelt THANK YOU.
Honestly your kind words carried me through the thick fog of baby years and early motherhood. When I couldn't see how I'd ever be out of the blur of diapers and formula and sleepless nights, so many of you prayed for me and spoke truth to me, in person and online. I have always appreciated this space that allows me the grace to process through life and to walk together offering community and support.
The internet can get a bad rap and so can social media, but they are just tools and we get to decide how to use them. Your support over the years gave me the courage to put my words into writing that became a part of the Lighthouse Collections devotional. Megan worked tirelessly to self publish this book, which is no small feat. I am so proud of her work and the passion and vulnerability that the other contributors brought to this collection. You can buy it on Amazon and locally in several stores. If you want a signed copy, you can purchase it from Megans website www.restorationranchsd.com .
So that is what I have been doing, where the words and the writing have been. The kids are still growing and forcing me to grow with them. Seven years in this house has now led us to finally deciding to remodel the kitchen. Currently there is a half opened wall with a temporary island in the middle trying to get a feel for what we like and don't like in the kitchen space. My countertop and brain is full of stone samples and color palettes. I am the same old me. It's funny how dreams don't change you. Every goal I have met or expectation that I thought would somehow complete me, hasn't really changed much at all. The dream just gets enfolded into the everyday life of who I am.
My book delivery was delayed by over a week due to a snow storm. My mom got her copy first and I got to see it for the first time via FaceTime in her hands, in her kitchen, instead of in person. A past version of myself would have been crushed by the loss of expectations. Thankfully growth and experience allowed me to accept it as part of life.
My copy of the book arrived without fanfare. It came late on a weekday afternoon. My husband picked it up from the UPS guy and handed it to me, un-showered, unkempt, standing in our dirty garage. He videod it, because he knew that documenting it would matter to me. It's saved under my highlights on Instagram, because I love it so much. It was such huge moment, wrapped in such an ordinary day.
It matters more to me than most people will probably ever understand and yet life just continues as normal, well as normal as anything is these days. It's been a slow process of learning that the magic is real, it is just disguised in the everyday, ordinary moments. The trick is learning to see it for the wonder that it is. I am learning to accept and appreciate the ordinary moments and see them for the extraordinary magic that they really are.
Babies are born, they grow before our eyes, they develop voices and personalities of their own. Houses are built and lived in and homes are made within the walls. Books are written and sent out into the world to be a permanent mark of lives lived fully and wonderfully imperfect. This is the stuff of life. Being aware of the beauty is the hardest, most rewarding part. Thank you from the very bottom of my soul. Take care sweet friends.