Miserable Mother's Day

Alright ladies, Mothers Day is over! Another day of fallen expectations and sorrow and hurt, that is covered up with smiles and cards and flowers, it done. Now we can breathe again.

Yes, it’s a day meant to celebrate how beautiful, hard working, and selfless mothers are, but how many of us have spent this day hiding in a room and crying?

Last night I crawled into bed and I said to my husband, “Thank you for a decent Mother’s Day.” I know that doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment, but given that more than once this holiday has ended in a screaming fight, where I feel under appreciated for all my efforts, I’d say a decent Mother’s Day is satisfactory. 

The truth is, Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of us. Whether it’s because you have lost a mother, desperately want to be a mother and aren’t, resent motherhood, feel unappreciated, feel like a failure, or your experiences are nothing like you expected. Whatever you reason, it is valid. 

A day meant to celebrate women for all that they do, can often leave us feeling less than.

While other women are being hailed, as beautiful, keeper of all the things, master cook, wonderful housekeeper, chauffeur extraordinaire; there is also a group of us who feel the salt in the wound. While those other moms are doing it all, seemingly flawlessly; we are silently resenting loading all the kids in the car to go to yet another game, concert, play, athletic event, that will inevitably end in a fast food run, because it is late and once again we didn’t plan meals well enough to sufficiently feed our family a well balanced meal. 

Listen close friends. 

You are doing a great job. You are more than enough. You are the best mom for your kids, whether you are feeding them home cooked meals or picking up food on the way home. Whether all their clothes are folded and put away properly in their drawers or you just dug their uniform out of the laundry and febreezed it yet again. 

Don’t let your shortcomings define the love you have for your family. 

You are more than your mistakes, you are still the one they run to when they are hurt, you are still the one they want there cheering from the stands. They don’t care if you have it all together. They care that you are present and joyful to be with them. 

Let go of the expectations of the kind of mom you thought you would be, quit focusing on the minor flaws you bare. Instead let’s fist pump every victory, the big and the small. Let soak in every hug, every kiss, every I love you, and value it far more than the fact that you forgot it was show n tell day and they had nothing to show or tell. 

This pressure we are putting on ourselves is killing us and destroying our families. 

For the unicorn mom who loves Mother’s Day, don’t let this shame you. If you are cruising through motherhood feeling like a rockstar, then you are to be celebrated as well. Whether yesterday was great for you or you wish you could forget everything about it, yesterday is over. 

Today we start fresh. You would never expect your children to be flawless, yet you love them anyways. Carry your head high today knowing they feel the same way about you. Apologize for the melt down you may or may not have had yesterday. Go forward knowing that your love is more than enough, regardless of anything else you accomplish today. 

Mamas, Mamas-to-be, Mamas who have lost, Mamas that ache; you are stronger than you even know. I am thinking about everyone of you who is walking into this week weary and exhausted. Choose to love, choose joy, and choose to value yourself more today. You are worth it.

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