Skip to main content

Miserable Mother's Day

Alright ladies, Mothers Day is over! Another day of fallen expectations and sorrow and hurt, that is covered up with smiles and cards and flowers, it done. Now we can breathe again.

Yes, it’s a day meant to celebrate how beautiful, hard working, and selfless mothers are, but how many of us have spent this day hiding in a room and crying?

Last night I crawled into bed and I said to my husband, “Thank you for a decent Mother’s Day.” I know that doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment, but given that more than once this holiday has ended in a screaming fight, where I feel under appreciated for all my efforts, I’d say a decent Mother’s Day is satisfactory. 

The truth is, Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of us. Whether it’s because you have lost a mother, desperately want to be a mother and aren’t, resent motherhood, feel unappreciated, feel like a failure, or your experiences are nothing like you expected. Whatever you reason, it is valid. 

A day meant to celebrate women for all that they do, can often leave us feeling less than.

While other women are being hailed, as beautiful, keeper of all the things, master cook, wonderful housekeeper, chauffeur extraordinaire; there is also a group of us who feel the salt in the wound. While those other moms are doing it all, seemingly flawlessly; we are silently resenting loading all the kids in the car to go to yet another game, concert, play, athletic event, that will inevitably end in a fast food run, because it is late and once again we didn’t plan meals well enough to sufficiently feed our family a well balanced meal. 

Listen close friends. 

You are doing a great job. You are more than enough. You are the best mom for your kids, whether you are feeding them home cooked meals or picking up food on the way home. Whether all their clothes are folded and put away properly in their drawers or you just dug their uniform out of the laundry and febreezed it yet again. 

Don’t let your shortcomings define the love you have for your family. 

You are more than your mistakes, you are still the one they run to when they are hurt, you are still the one they want there cheering from the stands. They don’t care if you have it all together. They care that you are present and joyful to be with them. 

Let go of the expectations of the kind of mom you thought you would be, quit focusing on the minor flaws you bare. Instead let’s fist pump every victory, the big and the small. Let soak in every hug, every kiss, every I love you, and value it far more than the fact that you forgot it was show n tell day and they had nothing to show or tell. 

This pressure we are putting on ourselves is killing us and destroying our families. 

For the unicorn mom who loves Mother’s Day, don’t let this shame you. If you are cruising through motherhood feeling like a rockstar, then you are to be celebrated as well. Whether yesterday was great for you or you wish you could forget everything about it, yesterday is over. 

Today we start fresh. You would never expect your children to be flawless, yet you love them anyways. Carry your head high today knowing they feel the same way about you. Apologize for the melt down you may or may not have had yesterday. Go forward knowing that your love is more than enough, regardless of anything else you accomplish today. 

Mamas, Mamas-to-be, Mamas who have lost, Mamas that ache; you are stronger than you even know. I am thinking about everyone of you who is walking into this week weary and exhausted. Choose to love, choose joy, and choose to value yourself more today. You are worth it.


5 Inspirational Quotes for Mother's Day

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Crate and a Challenge

One of my favorite blogs is having a Pintrest Challenge. They do it a couple times a year and its just a fun time to challenge everyone to complete a project they've pinned on Pintrest. I've been wanting to get in on the action, but never found the time. Oh yeah and a little thing called, I don't do Pintrest. It's not because I'm not interested or I don't think I'll like it. I'm terrified of it! I already spend too much time perusing my favorite house app and a bunch of blogs I follow, and Facebook. If I added something as captivating as Pintrest, my house and kids may just go completely uncared for. So in the spirit of playing along with the Pintrest challenge I thought I'd share our headboard that I made a couple years back, loooong before I started blogging. It is by far one of the projects I am most proud of! Almost three years ago, the hubs and I got a new bed, a giant sized, California King! It came with a frame, but no headboard. We had alrea…

Summer Lessons

Making our house feel like home in the summer feels more chaotic to me than the slower months.

November through March, when its dark early and bedtimes come swiftly, meals are slow cooked all day long, and warm light comes from houses in the evening hours, just naturally lends itself to an aesthetic of quiet and calm.

At least for me.

Summer lends itself to late nights out, days where we are only home long enough to drop piles by the door, eat and leave a mess on the table, dirty more clothes than a small country in a matter of days, and the chaos of home just seems unsettled and rushed.

I am going in circles most days, feeling like I am not accomplishing anything and yet spinning and spinning and trying to not tip over. 
And yet...
And yet, a couple times a month someone asks me “How do you do it all?” 
I feel like I am that analogy of a duck on the pond, I look calm on the surface, but underneath my feet are kicking like crazy. And really that is just on a good day, most days I feel…

Changes

I was cleaning today, which gave me time to think, and thinking always leads me here.

The house is 'weekend messy', so decided to clean my floors, because The Nester says if your floors are clean the rest of the house feels clean too, even if it isn’t. 
I have found that it is pretty good advice, so when everything else feels chaotic, I clean the floors. Of course for me, cleaning the floors also means picking up the toys, shoes, clothes, etc. so that I can even begin to vacuum, which naturally leads to a cleaner home as well. 
While cleaning up I began to think about how this blog has evolved over the years, from a desire to write like The Nester about home, into what it is now. 
I started writing this blog when I was dreaming of building a new home. Then plans changed, life took turns, and we ended up in a home so different than I expected and so perfect for our family.

Somewhere along the way I realized that home wasn’t in the walls that went up or in the countertop choices…