Simple Home and Happiness

I am still here. Despite all the challenges of the past year, you are reading this and I am writing it, so we we made it. I won't even try to wrap up what we have all been through, I am just going to acknowledge we all lived and processed through the past year by whatever means necessary.  As I look back on it, it's crazy to think how much fear and heartache the last year held but also how much joy and ordinary life as well.  It's been quiet here on the blog as some of you have noticed and checked in on me. The quiet gave way to the most exciting thing though, I am now a published author, along with some incredible friends! The devotional, Lighthouse Collections— Beacons of Light in Life's Storms, is a work of passion and prayers. My dear friend Megan Miller contacted me last year about contributing to a devotional and I was thrilled to be included. Between going back to school for my Masters degree and writing for the devotional, I had not found the time or the words t...

I am a New Years girl. I love goals and check lists and I love the feeling of a fresh start, but resolutions have never been my thing. A few year ago I began picking a word for the year and I found that it works really well for me.  Setting a word for the year has helped me to focus on a quality that I want to grow in myself. Last years word was ‘ intentional ’. It was a full year and in a lot of ways a really hard year. Being intentional with my words, thoughts and actions helped me to really lean into the relationships in my life. The past year felt somber though. It was good and I grew more than I could have imagined, but it also felt serious and deep. I need some relief. This year after praying over it and considering what I would like more of in the coming year, I knew that my word for 2019 had to be 'happiness'. I want more laughter, more spontaneity, more fun in 2019 and none of those things come naturally to me. I thought about words like joy and contentment b...

This time of year naturally lends itself to reflecting on holidays past, so I decided to read back through some of my holiday posts I have written over the years. I wrote some of these from a place of exhaustion and looking back I can see the pain clearly woven in every word; others I wrote out of a desperation to see life from the perspective of having lived through it. A few I wrote from a place of deep satisfaction and happiness. Life is often a balance of holding pain and joy at the same time. We don't have to choose one or the other, we can choose to accept life has both. It is where we put our focus that can make all the difference. The holidays aren't a time for rushing or preparing or forcing our way through. This season is meant to be a time to reflect, a time to love, a time to believe. This season holds so much hope and light if only we lean in close to find it. Love a Little More Holiday Hush   Holiday Juggling  Christmas Exhaustion Unexpected Int...

I was cleaning today, which gave me time to think, and thinking always leads me here. The house is 'weekend messy', so decided to clean my floors, because The Nester says if your floors are clean the rest of the house feels clean too, even if it isn’t.  I have found that it is pretty good advice, so when everything else feels chaotic, I clean the floors. Of course for me, cleaning the floors also means picking up the toys, shoes, clothes, etc. so that I can even begin to vacuum, which naturally leads to a cleaner home as well.  While cleaning up I began to think about how this blog has evolved over the years, from a desire to write like The Nester about home, into what it is now.  I started writing this blog when I was dreaming of building a new home. Then plans changed, life took turns, and we ended up in a home so different than I expected and so perfect for our family. Somewhere along the way I realized that home wasn’t in the walls that went up or in ...

Want to know the one thing we all have in common? Single, married, kids, no kids, male, female, whatever… We all need to eat. One of the questions I get asked most from you guys is, what is the best way is to get meals on the table for dinner? Here is what I know. What works for one persons schedule and personality may not work for the next. So rather than give you a tutorial on what works for me, I am going to give you all the tips and ideas I have for making meal time a little easier. These are some of my favorite links, blogs, recipes, meals planning subscriptions, cookbooks, all of it. You pick what works for you. Try it out, if it doesn't work for you, try something different. Take a little of this and a little of that and mix it together till it feels right for you. The goal is to make life more simple, not add one more thing to your plate (ha, sorry). In the end, what you feed yourself and the people you love is not what matters. What matters is that they leave the t...

Making our house feel like home in the summer feels more chaotic to me than the slower months. November through March, when its dark early and bedtimes come swiftly, meals are slow cooked all day long, and warm light comes from houses in the evening hours, just naturally lends itself to an aesthetic of quiet and calm. At least for me. Summer lends itself to late nights out, days where we are only home long enough to drop piles by the door, eat and leave a mess on the table, dirty more clothes than a small country in a matter of days, and the chaos of home just seems unsettled and rushed. I am going in circles most days, feeling like I am not accomplishing anything and yet spinning and spinning and trying to not tip over.  And yet... And yet, a couple times a month someone asks me “How do you do it all?”  I feel like I am that analogy of a duck on the pond, I look calm on the surface, but underneath my feet are kicking like crazy. And really that is just o...

Alright ladies, Mothers Day is over! Another day of fallen expectations and sorrow and hurt, that is covered up with smiles and cards and flowers, it done. Now we can breathe again. Yes, it’s a day meant to celebrate how beautiful, hard working, and selfless mothers are, but how many of us have spent this day hiding in a room and crying? Last night I crawled into bed and I said to my husband, “Thank you for a decent Mother’s Day.” I know that doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment, but given that more than once this holiday has ended in a screaming fight, where I feel under appreciated for all my efforts, I’d say a decent Mother’s Day is satisfactory.  The truth is, Mother’s Day is hard for a lot of us. Whether it’s because you have lost a mother, desperately want to be a mother and aren’t, resent motherhood, feel unappreciated, feel like a failure, or your experiences are nothing like you expected. Whatever you reason, it is valid.  A day meant to celebrate w...

If Easter has never made sense to you, if you have ever wondered why a God of love, is celebrated by a brutal death, if you have wondered why Jesus had to die and why God couldn't just shake the sky and shout out with thunder and angels and save us all, then you are not alone.  I have asked the same questions a thousand times. I have sat through sermons on it and listened to it discussed in depth at bible studies. I have read books upon books trying to understand why Jesus had to die and why God couldn't have just told us how much he loved us and told us we are saved.  If He is a God of mercy, God of love, God of power, then why did it have to be Jesus' death on the cross? It never made any sense.  Why did Jesus have to die? Why couldn't God just shake the sky and shout out his love. Why couldn't it be fireworks and thunder and mind blowing shows of power and might? It all comes down to love. Understanding Gods love has helped me to comprehend w...

My baby boy turns two in July. He is my last baby. I am tasting freedom, the likes of which I haven't had in years! I am savoring all the lasts and acknowledging milestones for what they are… but lets be honest, most days I am fist pumping, high kicking and dancing in celebration. This is not a blog post about how sweet these days are or how I need to appreciate it while they are little. That is important, but that is for another day. Today I am celebrating how much I can get done in a day now that my baby can feed himself and go out with his Daddy to do chores. We are in the process of finishing out our basement and creating a family room. The kids are spending a lot more time down there, so we no longer have the need for a large toy room. On the flip side, I am spending more time writing and keeping up with our ever growing farm paper work and I need a space that I can spread out in and keep kids out of. Yesterday I swapped my large toy room and my small office ro...

I have always been the kind of woman who whispers dreams, but never one to name them and chase them down.  In high school I wanted to be an actress. In college I wanted to write an epic novel. I never pursued either of those things because I thought they were too impractical, too artistic, for someone like me.  The thing about dreams is they rarely go away completely.  I still want to write a book. I still love being on a stage. My dreams don't look the same as they did back then, but traces of them are woven into my life. I have been paid to write and I have been paid to speak my words, and yet still I hesitate to call myself a writer or a speaker.  I live with the fear of failure. Not just a little fear, but rather a huge, crippling fear of failing.  If I have not laid out a plan A and B and C and two more contingency plans that have backup plans with a safety net, then it is a solid bet, I will not try something new.  Trut...

I do not have an organized, clean home, although I crave one. I haven't found a magic bullet to 'keeping house', although I think it is somewhere in having no children, no husband, a live in maid, and perhaps being British royalty. For those of us that fall outside that sweet spot, I think we will forever be playing a vicious game of cat and mouse with house chores. We all have different strengths and pitfalls in home making. I am not here to judge or even offer advice, but I will share what is inspiring me. Laundry is my nemesis. I am trying to come up with a better system that doesn't leave me wanting to burn the whole house down rather than have to deal with the laundry. I mashed up a bunch of your advice that I asked for on Facebook and it is helping.  The main thing though, was a perspective change. I'm going to be totally honest, the main reason I wan't getting laundry done was because I just didn't think it was worthy of my time. I have a ...

You are not broken. You are scarred. Scars tell your story. A battle. A fight. You are not a failure. You stand back up. You are fierce. You are beautiful. You are sacred. You are a fighter. You are strong. You are needed. You matter.  Humanity matters.  That voice inside of you, Let it out.  Shout it out.  Stand tall.  Wear your scars. Own your mistakes.  Dance to the rhythm of your pain, your courage, your relentless spirit.  Find your purpose.  Find your peace.  Find you.  You are not alone.  You illuminate.  You radiate.  You are unique.  You are undefined.  Every breath you take is a story of resolve.  A story of redemption.  A story of grace.  A story of perseverance. It is your story.  Own it. 

Let this be the year we lift each other up, support each others dreams, and inspire one another. Here are a few books I am reading (or hope to read soon) and podcasts I'm listening to. Happy Friday friends! "She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings." -Ariana Dancu Books on…  *Home A Simplified Life A Book That Takes Its Time Chasing Slow Present Over Perfect Love Lives Here The Lifegiving Home *Motherhood Why Motherhood Matters Mom Set Free She's Still There *Life Unseen A Fierce Love If You Only Knew *Food The Lifegiving Table The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Dinnertime Forest Feast Gatherings Podcasts The Happy Hour The Encourager Mom Struggling Well For The Love Glorious in the Mundane The Shauna Niequist Podcast Source

Nothing about this holiday season went as planned. We started the stomach flu in our family of six a couple days before Christmas and it finally took down the last person a week later. It was exhausting but also forced a major slow down, in a good way. Traditions got pushed aside to make room for illness, plans were cancelled, all expectations of holiday celebrations went out the window. There was a time when this would have destroyed me. Several years ago, my plans for New Years Eve were cancelled due to a snow storm. I pouted and cried, I believe I may have even wailed "Why Me?" and I know for certain that I made the evening miserable for my husband. All because my expectations had been set too high and I couldn't see what was still possible. I don't know if it's age, experience, maturity, or a glorious combination, but this holiday had all the makings of an epic temper tantrum, yet it never happened. I wasn't Mother Teresa, let's be real, b...

One week till Christmas. Seven days. How are you doing? Hanging in there? Excelling? Crying? It's ok. I've done all three in the past week. This morning I woke up with nothing to do. Of course there are things to do , but the calendar is clear today. Today I get to bake and clean and listen to Christmas music and rest. We have been running winter colds through the six people in our house and I woke up with a sore throat, but today I can rest, so I will be thankful for that. I know this next week can be really hard. I know that losses, finances, and hardships are heightened this time of year. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to feel the weight of unmet expectations. I am walking into this week with hands open. I will not let the dreams of what could be ruin the truth of what is right in front of me. I still have gifts to wrap, goodies to bake, I didn't get a Christmas card sent out this year, snow is threatening to ruin my travel plans, kids are sic...

Holidays are hard. Whether you love them or hate them, they are coming. I love the holidays, I truly do, but even with my love for them, I find them exhausting. Winning the lottery is technically a good thing, but it can be destructive if you do not manage the stress of it. The holidays can be like that. All the food, all the family, all the traveling, all the invitations, all the baking, all the wrapping; all inherently good things, yet it can be stressful. I am a home body, but I also love people. These two things conflict for me during the holidays. I love being with my family and friends, but I also suffer when my schedule is out of sync. Naps and bedtime routines get up ended and the kids become overwhelmed and exhausted. I love my family, but even my favorite members start to rub raw when their proximity has been all up in my business without a break for several days on end. I think this year I am maybe even a little more aware of this. With a one year old and a two yea...

I listened to a Mom speak mean words to her child the other day. We were in a public setting and I heard her words clearly. Her frustration, her exhaustion, were on display. What she said doesn't really matter, it's the fact that she said it unguarded, without pretense, just ugly and real. Oh so real. I was raised to keep your ugly to yourself. Pretend everything is fine until it is fine. I am not condoning what that mother said, but I am not judging her either. I have no idea how hard her day had been up till then. I don't know what she was or is struggling with. I don't know her, therefore I will not judge her. I hope she realized later how harsh her words were. I hope she took the opportunity to show her child how important it is for adults to apologize as well as children. I hope that it was not her finest moment as a mom, but I refuse to judge her. It's not my place. My largest short coming as a mom is that I yell. I hate it. I am ashamed of it. It is s...

Hey there tired mama. I see you. But more importantly, I am you. Sometimes you cry because you are so tired you can't sleep. Sometimes you hurt in ways that you can't explain. Sometimes you cry because you feel guilty about being so blessed and yet so frustrated. Sometimes you cry because someone needs you all the time. Sometimes you cry because your friend struggles with infertility and you have so many kids. Sometimes you cry because friends have lost babies and you feel guilty about being mad at yours. Sometimes you want to get in the car and drive away. Away from the mess, the noise, the chaos. You want to drive to a quiet place and just sit and breathe... and just be quiet. But you can't say it out loud. You're not suppose to. You are suppose to be happy, you are blessed. You are suppose to smile, because you will miss these years when they are grown. You are suppose to enjoy them while they are little. But today, today you just want...